That Nagging Feeling You Get

Nagging Feeling

by Augustine Tan

When did it take me to realize that all was not well with reality? I suppose quite early in my teens. I had learnt about the corruption that was going on in my own country (mind you, I live outside the U.S.) from my father, but it took me several more years to figure out the extent of corruption in our fallen world.

When I woke up, I was lost. I felt like I couldn’t trust anyone. Everyone else seemed to be living in their own isolated bubble, unaware of what I was thinking, oblivious to my revelation. Those who did sympathize with me only did so because they cared about me, not because they had the same ideals.

I remember the anger I felt at the world. I wrote poems lashing out this pent-up rage, for lack of understanding on what caused the world to be screwed up. Confused as I was, I never stopped looking for the truth. I roamed endlessly looking for answers, almost going down one path before I realized that it was wrong, and going back to square one. When I stumbled upon the alternative media and cut myself off from mainstream media completely, I had learnt enough to find my real purpose from there on.

You can blame the Rothschilds, you can condemn Obama, you can choose anyone as your scapegoat, but does that really change anything? What do we get by complaining and begging people to face the truth? I’ve spent enough time in the ‘bargaining’ phase to know how it feels like to have people listen to you but do nothing or ignore you completely. That’s when depression kicks in, sending you on an endless spiral of self-doubt and confusion. It is only when you emerge from this phase will you come to terms with the lies you’ve been fed, the social conditioning you’ve been subjected to and the understanding of the nature of the Matrix.


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